Hey. I hope you are doing well. I just wanted to stop by ask if you could leave feedback for Taking Toby to the Works by Saturday night. It is for a project I am working on, and I do have a deadline this time around, so I'd really appreciate it if you could. Just your usual comments will be fine. That is all I need, so if you can thank you. I am going to ask Mays and Brandon most likely, and anyone is welcome really. The more the better. Thanks!
Hey there, MainLineEngines. I just happened to have a read of your story and here are my thoughts.
First off, the portrayal of your characters was great as usual. James being vain as usual and not wanting to take Toby to the Steamworks seems typical of him. I thought it was funny how he and Henry pretended to be sick to get out of taking Toby, then Sir Topham Hatt called their bluff and they cut the act and went to work.
Also, I really liked how James changed during the episode. At first, he was being selfish and didn’t want to help Toby, but then as the story progressed, he put aside his arrogant and self-centered persona aside to help Toby and enjoyed it. That’s what I always liked about James: despite his ego, he knows when to put it aside and be a really useful engine. So good job there.
Lastly, I thought your concept about engines taking Toby to the Steamworks was interesting. I never really thought about that before, but considering the events of Time for Trouble and the fact that Toby has small water tanks, it makes sense for the engines to help him the rest of the way so he doesn’t breakdown on the mainline again. So good concept there.
In conclusion, good job again. Good character developments, interesting plot devices, and nice to see that old James-Toby rivalry/friendship again. It was also nice seeing James learning a lesson and going out of his way to be a really useful engine once again.
That’s all I have to say for now, so keep up the good work and I’ll see you next time!!!
Thanks for your comments. It is nice to get some more comments and I asked specifically this time because I am using this story for a writing class. But what is interesting is that, you know the characters and locations. Like, you know how steep Gordon's Hill or how Toby has small water capacity but to others, I have to fill them in. Still, your comments do make me aware of what I need to add for others. That is why I asked you this time around and I very much appreciate it.
You know, I had never thought of this concept before but sometimes, you can invent a plausible railway-related scenario. Thomas and Bertie and Mind that Bike are some of these. Upon looking over RBTL again, Christopher Awdry mentions that tram engines did travel every now and then to Stratford. Then, there's the one that got stuck and was the basis for Double-Header. I reasoned that the Fat Controller after that, decided to have James or Henry take Toby to the Works on their stopping trains. So yeah, sometimes there's not one particular incident but you can some simple problems like burst safety-valves or failed injectors and it helps with the writing process.
Again, thanks for the feedback, and I'll see you around.