Hey there, Mays. I just finished reading yours and OliverDuckandToad11's story and here's what I have to say.
First and foremost, you both really captured the spooky atmosphere in this episode. James' story about the Girl Hunter literally sent shivers down my spine and this ghost sounds really creepy and intimidating. The way he kind of appears out of nowhere right in front of everyone and then starts chasing them was definitely a very spooky idea. So, good work there.
Second, I liked the idea of having a female cast. You don't get too many episodes like that in the series and the idea of having Mavis, Emily, and Rosie as the main characters was a great idea. Also, I really liked Mavis' bravery towards the ghost and how you made her the sensible one in this trio. I feel like in the current series, the writers have really established Mavis as a mature character now and learned from her mistakes when she first came to the railway. So you and OliverDuckandToad11 did an excellent keeping her personality parallel to the current series. Good work as well.
However, although I liked this episode, I have to agree with what TheLocoLover said on that page and that the ending was very abrupt. The three females successfully concurred the ghost and then the episode pretty much ends with that (I know it ends at Ulfstead Castle, but nothing else happens). I was kind of expecting: Mavis, Emily, and Rosie to feel proud of themselves for taking down that ghost and they promised to never be scared again; a subtle implication that the ghost would return someday; Emily returns to the sheds and tells everyone about her night, possibly spooking James. Otherwise, I still like the fact that the ghost disappears after the three engines charge at it.
Overall, despite the abrupt ending, you and OliverDuckandToad11 did a great job on this episode and definitely one of the better Halloween epsiodes I have ever read. So kudos to you both. Final rating, 9/10.
About the ending it was a bit of a rush to finish it by Halloween and i dont have to many chances to give time to typing stories with my work scedual. I do thank you for takeing time to read and review it.