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No Funny Business
Season 2, Episode 9
Air date September 9th, 2017
Written by TheLocoLover
Directed by TheLocoLover
Episode guide
James and Daisy
Crane Chaos

No Funny Business is the ninth episode of the second season of Sudrian Stories.


Philip is a young diesel boxcab which is no less than... excitable. He wants to be friends with everybody around him, even if they're not exactly the kindest.

This was notable when one day, Pip and Emma were leaving from Knapford. "Wow! You're fast! Faster than Gordon! Did you know that I beat him in a race once?" Exclaimed the little diesel.

"Yes... many times." Sighed Pip. "You've told almost everyone."

Philip was still following the twins. "Oh, come on! Can't we have a race?"

Pip and Emma decided to just ignore, Philip, and sped up. "Wait, where are you going? Can't we please at least just talk about all the fun it is on the Mainland?"

"Bye!" Called Emma. Little did Philip notice, he was at the Junction! As he continued to chase the duo, he had no idea that the points were jammed, and they weren't in Philip's favor. As he went over them, Philip panicked, and jolted. This caused his engine to overheat, so there he was, abandoned between two tracks.

"Uh oh." Said Philip.

As Sir Topham Hatt was inspecting the damage, he sighed. "Philip, you'll need engine repairs, I'll have Edward take you there after his morning goods train is finished." Once again, he groaned. "Well, I'm in a pickle now."

After inspecting the young diesel, Sir Topham Hatt walked up to the engines at Knapford Sheds. Charlie, Stafford, and Stanley all looked at their friend in concern. "Oh, poor Philip..." Sighed Stanley.

The other two agreed. "Now, you three will have to deal with the shunting here alone, okay?" He asked.

"Yes, sir!" The three engines said in unison.

"This means no screwing around, I'm mostly talking to you, Charlie." Sir Topham Hatt scolded. "This is not a time to make jokes."

Charlie laughed. "Don't worry, sir. I know how to be serious when necessary." Stanley and Stafford had looks of doubt, and they could hear Winston laughing in the distance.

But, Sir Topham Hatt agreed. "Okay, good luck!" He walked away, and boarded Winston.

At first, things actually went pretty well. Charlie shunted coaches and trucks without issue around the station, that was, however, until Bill and Ben came along with a train of china clay. "Hey, Charlie! Got any jokes?" Asked Bill.

"Uh.. let me think." Started Charlie. "Oh, I got one! How do snails fight?'

"I don't know." Replied Ben.

Charlie snickered a little. "They slug it out!"

The three tank engines started to laugh, only for Oliver to cut in. "Can I get my coaches already?!"

Charlie went back to shunting. "Sorry, Oliver."

Stafford gave Charlie a look. "Remember what you were instructed, Charlie." He scolded as the two passed.

"Yeah, I know..." Sighed Charlie.

Eventually, Charlie went back to joking, much to the annoyance of most of the engines. "What do you do when you see a shipwreck?" Asked Charlie.

"Uh... I don't know." Replied Toby. "What, Charlie?"

"You let it sink in!"

Toby just sat there, not knowing if he should laugh or not. "Okay then..." He then left, not even wanting to get his trucks.

When Sir Topham Hatt had found out that Charlie was causing 'confusion and delay', in his grandfather's terms, he was decided to be kept in Knapford Sheds. "Charlie, you will stay in the sheds until then, I hope that Stanley and Stafford can work well."

Charlie sighed. "Alright... yes, sir..."

The yards were a mess with both Charlie and Philip being gone. While the other two tried their hardest to keep it in order, it was no use.

"This... is hard..." Panted Stanley.

Stafford agreed. "Yeah, this is starting to become tiring."

This continued for a while, and the duo were beginning to get behind schedule.

Meanwhile, there was trouble down the line. Bear was a runaway! "Help! Somebody help me, please!" Pleaded Bear. All the Main Line trains were put into sidings, and if he didn't run out of fuel, a train was to be shunted to at least slow Bear down, if not derail him. As Stafford was shunting it, trouble started, as he didn't have time to recharge his battery, and he stopped behind the train!

"Oh no." Said Stafford. "Help!"

Stanley wasn't nearby, as he had been called to pull a goods train, thus it was just Charlie. Thus, he knew he'd have to act, otherwise Stafford would be right in Bear's path. Thinking quickly, he called a workman over. "We need to pull Stafford out of the way!" He instructed.

Charlie charged towards Stafford, and coupled up. He pulled him out of the way just in time, Bear ran into the train of vans, and derailed. "Ow." Sighed Bear.

Too tired to speak, Charlie didn't say anything. "Charlie... thank you!" Exclaimed Stafford. The workmen cheered for Charlie, who felt proud.

A few minutes later, Belle arrived with Rocky and Sir Topham Hatt. "Charlie, you truly are a really useful engine. While you do have troubles with being serious at times, you make up for it by your work ethic and sense of humor. I'm sorry for sending you to the sheds."

"No, I'm sorry for being so silly. It will never happen again."

Rocky rolled his eyes. "Sure it won’t.”

Of course, a few minutes later, Charlie was talking to Bear, who was being lifted onto a flatbed via Rocky. "So, Bear... I have a joke!"

Bear laughed. "I thought you were done being silly."

"Did I say that? I don't think so! Why did the bike fall over?"

"Because it was too-"

"It was too tired!" Cut in Charlie.

While most groaned, Bear chuckled a little bit, as it cheered him up a little. That was good enough for Charlie, who smiled to himself. I really am Sodor's greatest comedian! Thought Charlie, although nobody thought that was true, but Charlie was just glad that he had made somebody laugh.